For World Breastfeeding Week I’m sharing my journey

Before I had children I wanted to breastfeed. I planned to do the first six weeks exclusively and then introduce formula and do combination feeding. That’s what you do, right?!!

My daughter was born following an emergency section. More details here. I was on lots of medication and had no sleep. She was with my husband while I was in recovery. Then she was brought to me and our families all gathered at my bedside.

The midwife told everyone to leave so I could breastfeed. I couldn’t move. She wasn’t very helpful. She left me lying down on the bed. I tried to get the baby to latch on and I couldn’t. She said that I’d flat nipples and I wouldn’t be able to get the baby to latch without nipple shields. She told me to get someone to bring them in and then left. She was so dismissive.

I know looking back it was only a small obstacle, but I just wasn’t in the right frame of mind to think that she might be wrong. I didn’t have the energy to try when something even so small was against us.

I hadn’t done any research or gotten any support prior to her birth. And I was relying on support that first day that wasn’t there.

The following day a midwife asked me was I happy with my decision to formula feed and I just said yes automatically. I wasn’t and had no idea that I could have changed my mind at that point or even in the future.

A year later I had my son. I was afraid to even try breastfeeding this time. I was afraid it wouldn’t work and of a repeat performance of my “episode”. Details here.

Two years later I decided to give breastfeeding one more try. It was a planned section. She was brought with my hubby to the maternity ward to be weighed while I was still in theatre. I was told it was a new policy that I could have her in recovery with me. She was brought to me and our breastfeeding journey began.

Thankfully, this midwife was wonderful. She helped me sit up in the bed. And helped her latch on. The issues that I seemed to face on my first weren’t a problem this time. I never needed those nipple shields.

The first few days I had a lot of help from the midwives. I rang the buzzer each time to get help to latch her on. I was sore, and movement was restricted. I learnt to feed lying down and we co slept from day one. They showed me a few different positions to try.

I also had support from friends who are breastfeeding counsellors and getting supportive messages from them in those early days kept me going.

Other women were helpful. One even offered her own multi-mam compresses when she heard me talking to the midwife about my bleeding nipples. I had packed my own and were a godsend when I used them.

At four weeks old my baby had surgery for pyloric stenosis - a blockage in the gut. I had to pump for a few days. Then we got back to breastfeeding.

At six weeks old we ended up in the hospital with a wound infection. The consultant said she hadn’t gained enough weight. He didn’t consider that she’d been sick and would have lost weight from that. He blamed breastfeeding. He said I should be giving her a top up.

That nearly ended our journey as I was so upset. I think if she had been my first it could have. But I had been told don’t give up on a bad day. And I was determined to prove them wrong. She had follow-up checks and she was perfect.

We didn’t have any problems after that, so we kept going. The World Health Organisation (WHO) recommends feeding until at least two. And we made it to just after her second birthday.

I want to mention a few good resources here. Kellymom, LactMed app and breastfeeding network for checking medication, Dr Jack Newman - yes you can breastfeed and drink!

If you’re planning on breastfeeding try and get support before the birth and during those early days. There are Cuidiu and La Lache League support groups and counsellors and trained lactation consultants. There is also online support.

If you decide breastfeeding isn’t for you then I’m not going to judge. How could I?! But if it is then keep going, one feed at a time...